This lovely building is a year younger than the house I used to live at Lawang, Malang. Why would Dutch people put the year on the top of facades is a matter I have no knowledge of. It reminds me of that house at Jalan Argopuro 15. "Anno Domini 1910"
Selasa, 18 Desember 2012
Senin, 17 Desember 2012
“I Dream of Eden”
Visiting
the gardens made him sad again. He promised to take his mother here to
see flowers from all over the world. Didn’t he mention to her that
they have olive trees? She loved to use olive oil for her youthful
skin. Yes, her skin looked youthful even when she was dying. Yes he
did mention it to her. The dwarfed trees remind him of her.
And
for a while he forgot about it when he saw white lilies and tiger
lilies. The flowers produce strong, woody smell. He thought the
blooms were sprinkled with sawdust but when seen closely, it was the
pollen. He once again got distracted by the chance of finding roses
of Sharon, a kind of hibiscus. The name sounds beautiful to his ears.
Then he found out that camellia can grow so tall. Nevermind the
pungent smell, the flowers look so showy. And its leaves look like
those of tea.
It
rained outside and he was raining inside. He was sad that she would
never be here to see everything that looks so bright, so beautiful.
The gardens are lovely. If he could imagine what Eden—sans
domes—might have looked like, here it is. But then there is Eden
Project in Europe.
Gardens
are said they boost longevity. S thought, the Chinese proverb is
true: if you want to be happy for a week, cook a swine. A month, get
married. For life, tend a garden.
His
mother never liked flowers that much. She only planted edible plants.
But she did admire them, like bunga rias (a kind of torch ginger, a
food flavoring), domiana (a herb with red appearance, thought to have
medicinal purposes), and banana flowers (which she cleverly cooked
and served with sambal). He remembered that one day, like months
before they moved to Jalan Hamid Rusdi, she gave him Rp500 to buy a
small orchid in order to make him happy. And she even transformed her
front garden in Java with bright red florets of roselle which aroused
the neighborhood’s curiosity.
Outside
of the glass domes, it was raining and he was still raining inside.
The sickly sweet smell of tea hybrid roses made him even more sad. He
remembered, his mother let a pot of rose grow. Perhaps as a gesture
of remembrance. Her mother—his grandmother—used to distill and
sell rose water in the market.
But
then he remembered, she is already in Eden now. The real Eden. Eden
sans domes. Not only flowers, she will find fruits also and animals.
It is where lambs are playing with lions.It's where hummingbirds are abundant, so are butterflies. He's sure, she is happy there.
Minggu, 25 November 2012
Kisah Dua Kerajaan (Cirebon)
Perjalanan liburan yang dilakukan tiba-tiba selalu seru. Kebanyakan seru. Never mind the chaos, anyway.
Sesampai di Cirebon, mereka langsung mengarah ke kompleks keraton. Setelah membayar Rp5.000/orang, mereka masuk. Di sebelah kiri, ada museum yang sedang dipugar, begitu juga bangunan di seberangnya. Mereka pun masuk—dengan suka cita—melalui pintu gerbang batu bata. MP langsung teringat ke Masjid Kudus yang masih terinspirasi candi-candi Hindu ala Jawa Timuran. Banyak bagian bangunan Kraton yang memakai batu bata, macam kompleks bangunan kuno Majapahit di Mojokerto. Tak jauh dari situ terlihatlah pendopo besar dengan banyak tiang penyokong. Mungkin di masa lalu, pendopo itu hiruk-pikuk dengan kesenian…. MP hanya bisa membayangkan saja. Dia sedikit menyesal tak datang saat kirab budaya sehari sebelumnya.
Setelah berfoto di pintu gerbang—yang dimasuki dengan suka cita tadi—mereka pergi ke bangunan di sebelah. Façade-nya putih. Putihnya terlihat seperti putih kapur, sehingga MP berpikir, apa yang ada di balik pelapur putih itu? Apakah itu susunan batu bata? Mengapa banyak keramik di dindingnya?
Pelat keramik itu ternyata bergambar: kapal, bangunan mirip kincir angin, unggas. Masuk ke dalam ruang yang dahulu adalah tempat raja dan para petinggi rapat, ternyata banyak keramik yang menutupi dindingnya. Ada panel warna biru, ada panel warna cokelat.
Panel biru bergambar tentang aktivitas sehari-hari. Ada kapal, ada bangunan mirip kincir angin, dan ada unggas. Di keramik biru, ada pula berbentuk bulat, seperti piring. Di situ ada gambar rumah bergaya arsitektur China.
Namun, yang paling menarik MP adalah panel warna cokelat. Panel itu malah penuh gambar dari kisah-kisah di Alkitab. MP cukup heran, mengingat ini kesultanan Islam. Dia pun langsung terbawa ke kisah-kisah di Sekolah Minggu….
Hampir setiap panel MP kenali kisahnya.
Yang ini kisah Yesus dan murid-muridNya sedang menjala ikan. Murid-murid ini sudah seharian jala ikan di Danau Galilea, tapi nggak dapat seekor pun. Waktu Yesus bilang, lemparkan ke sisi kanan. Dapet deh mereka sampai kapal oleng. Dihitung, ada 150 ekor lebih. Yesus sendiri sudah siapkan bara api, tinggal bakar ikan.
"Ini Bileam!" kata satu suara. Seperti biasa, saat MP sedang mencoba menggali ingatan di otak kelabunya, KV hadir.
KV: Dia lari dari tugas, kalau tidak salah?
MP: Sepertinya ya. Dia naik keledai dan keledai ini selalu mundur sampai Bileam jatuh. Si keledai pun dihardik dan dipukul. Oleh Tuhan, si keledai dibukakan mulutnya dan binatang itu pun berkata-kata, “Kenapa kamu marahi aku? Di depan ada malaikat menghunus pedang!” Bileam pun langsung minta ampun ke Tuhan.
KV: Bileam pasti terguncang setengah mati mendengar keledai bicara dan keledai bawa berita menyeramkan. Luar biasa.
MP: Itulah alasan aku percaya, binatang dapat diajak bicara.
KV: Daud mengalahkan Goliath. Manusia raksasa ini tingginya 3 meter.
MP: Wah, dia bisa jadi atlet basket tenar.
KV diam saja, merasa tak perlu mengomentari celetukan MP.
MP: Ini alasan mengapa bahasa manusia berbeda-beda.
KV: Karena orang-orang membangun menara Babel yang tingginya sampai ke langit “untuk menyaingi Tuhan”.
MP: Masak Tuhan marah kalau mereka bangun menara sampai ke langit?
KV: Tuhan marah dan membuat mereka berbahasa macam-macam dan mereka saling bingung dan karena itu, diaspora terjadi.
MP: Pasti bukan karena itu Tuhan marah, buktinya sekarang banyak gedung yang mencapai langit.
KV: “Kalau kamu minum dari air milikku, kamu tidak akan haus lagi,” kata Yesus ke perempuan yang mau ambil air di sumur ini. Si Perempuan itu tentu langsung mau air itu. Tapi, yang Yesus maksud adalah damai sejahtera, air untuk jiwa yang dahaga.
MP: Kenapa Yesus suka sekali bicara dalam bahasa kiasan?
KV: Entahlah. Singkat cerita, setelah mengobrol di tepi sumur, perempuan yang punya lebih dari dua suami ini mengikuti ajaran Yesus.
KV: Ini pastilah para cendekia dari tempat yang jauh. Mereka mengikuti bintang yang mengarahkan mereka ke rumahnya Yesus. Bintang itu pasti spesial dan mereka pun spesial karena bisa membaca pergerakan benda-benda di langit. Mereka bawa emas, mur, dan kemenyan buat Yesus Cilik. Pasti itu berarti banget ya buat Maria dan Yusuf yang hidup pas-pasan.
MP: Gimana kamu tahu mereka miskin?
KV: Maria dan Yusuf waktu ibadah ke Bait Allah, mereka bawa burung tekukur sebagai korban ucapan syukur. Buat yang lebih mampu, mereka bawa mamalia kaki empat macam domba.
MP: Air bah, banjir besar. Le deluge!
KV: Nuh, istri, tiga anak, tiga mantu selamat karena mereka bikin bahtera.
MP: Tiga anak Nuh: Sem, Ham, Yafet. Namaku disebut.
KV: Ya. Kenapa tidak disebut nama istri Nuh? Juga nama-nama mantu mereka?
MP: Pertanyaan yang nggak pernah aku pikirkan sebalumnya. Aku sendiri lebih tertarik mencari tahu alasan kenapa hanya delapan manusia yang diselamatkan bersama hewan-hewan? Apakah ada dinosaurus masuk di bahtera?
MP: Panel yang ini membingungkan. Ini Yesus berdoa di Taman Getsemani ditemani dua murid? Atau ini Saulus? Dua kisah ini punya kesamaan: ada suara dari langit.
KV: Yesus berdoa, Allah Bapa menyahut dari langit.
MP: Saulus juga! Ini waktu dia jatuh dan ada suara datang dari langit. Saulus kan penyiksa orang-orang Kristen. Dia Yahudi fanatik alias radikal. Dia mengejar orang-orang Kristen dan memenjarakan mereka, memvonis mereka sesat. Akhirnya, setelah satu kecelakaan, dia malah jadi orang Kristen.
KV: Terserah. Bisa Saulus, bisa Yesus. Oh ya, Saulus ganti nama jadi Paulus setelah ikut Yesus.
Ini Yusuf menuntun keledai yang ditunggangi Maria dan Yesus Cilik. Mereka melarikan diri ke Mesir. Saat itu, Timur Tengah dikuasai Roma dan rajanya membunuhi bayi laki-laki karena dia dengar gosip, raja yang akan menggulingkan Roma telah lahir.
MP: Simson alias Samson. Dia bunuh singa dengan dua tangan. Hebat!
KV: Lebih hebat lagi, setelah itu, lebah-lebah bersarang di bangkai singa itu dan Simson mengambil madunya. Dari situlah lahir tebakan, “Dari yang kuat keluar makanan. Apakah itu?”
MP: Apakah karena perbuatan Simson itu, kini singa punah dari wilayah Timur Tengah?
MP: Ini siapa coba? Masak manusia berkelahi dengan malaikat?
KV: Ini Yakub lagi bergulat dengan malaikat. Kisahnya ada di kitab Taurat yang pertama. Yakub melarikan diri dari dendam abangnya, nah malam-malam dia ketemu orang. Tidak dicatat kitab itu, apa alasan mereka bergulat. Dia nggak sadar, pria itu malaikat.
MP: Kok dia nggak tahu itu malaikat? Nih lihat, orang ini pakai sayap.
KV: Jangan literer, ini ilustrasi.
MP: Pasti pas berantem, malaikat itu nggak pakai sayap alias nggak menampakkan diri dengan sayap.
KV: Paginya, Yakub kalah dan sebelum pria itu pergi, Yakub minta diberkati. Entah apa maksudnya dia kok malah minta didoakan sama orang asing. Sehabis itu, malaikat menghilang. Yakub ketakutan dan bilang, aku sudah melihat wajah Tuhan dan tidak mati.
MP: Tampaknya, Tuhan dulu sangat membatasi interaksi dengan manusia.
KV: Maksudnya?
MP: Sekarang banyak orang bilang, saya bertemu Tuhan secara pribadi.
MP: Menarik. Keramik ini pecah dan ditambal. Yesus memanggul salib.
KV: Diberkatilah siapa pun dia yang menembal kembali keramik yang pecah ini.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Ketika mereka berlima balik ke mobil, mereka baca Lonely Planet Indonesia, barulah mereka menyadari bahwa mereka baru saja mengunjungi dua keraton. Dua kerajaan. Lol!
"Dua? Lho, yang tadi?" begitu pekik MW.
"Keraton Kanomanan yang mana?" tanya MD.
"Yang lagi dipugar, termasuk tempat yang mereka sebut pendopo plus replika kereta kencana Singa Barong," jawab MP.
"Mana yang satu lagi?" tanya MR.
"Itu yang banyak panel keramik. Namanya Keraton Kasepuhan," jawab MP.
"Nah, di mana ketemu bapak-bapak yang menawarkan minyak urapan?" tanya MP ke MM.
"Di Keraton Kasepuhan," jawab MM.
Kembali ke Lonely Planet Indonesia milik MM: Di abad ke-15 berdirilah Cirebon menjadi kesultanan Islam pertama di Jawa Barat. Cirebon makin jaya di bawah kepemimpinan Sunan Gunungjati pada abad ke-16.
Sebagai pelabuhan yang padat karya, Cirebon menarik minat banyak bangsa, terutama Belanda dan China. Demikianlah, dua keraton yang saling berdampingan ini--Keraton Kanomanan dan Keraton Kasepuhan--masih menggaungkan pengaruh banyak kebudayaan dalam hal arsitektur dan interiornya sebagai bukti harmoni.
"Meow!" said MP. "It should be 'Arrrr!' Mind you, it's a tiger," said K.
Begitu lah, MbakRuus, MsWaty, MasMoki, MbakDiah, dan MasPur—kesemuanya MR, MW, MM, MD, dan MP—naik kereta kelas bisnis ke Cirebon. Wow, wow, wow, begitu MP terkagum karena kali ini tidak ada penumpang duduk di lantai kereta. Di dua perjalanan MP sebelumnya di kelas bisnis (Jogja-Bandung, Jakarta-Surabaya), banyak penumpang gelap duduk di lantai kereta. Salut buat PT KAI untuk terobosan ini. Cirebon Ekspres kelas Bisnis pun jadi menyenangkan, terlebih lagi tak ada yang merokok. MD, duduk di samping MP, terlihat sangat hanyut dalam kenyamanan. Dia dibuai lantunan Edo Kondologit: “…kulitku hitam, rambut keriting, aku Papua…” Sesampai di Cirebon, mereka langsung mengarah ke kompleks keraton. Setelah membayar Rp5.000/orang, mereka masuk. Di sebelah kiri, ada museum yang sedang dipugar, begitu juga bangunan di seberangnya. Mereka pun masuk—dengan suka cita—melalui pintu gerbang batu bata. MP langsung teringat ke Masjid Kudus yang masih terinspirasi candi-candi Hindu ala Jawa Timuran. Banyak bagian bangunan Kraton yang memakai batu bata, macam kompleks bangunan kuno Majapahit di Mojokerto. Tak jauh dari situ terlihatlah pendopo besar dengan banyak tiang penyokong. Mungkin di masa lalu, pendopo itu hiruk-pikuk dengan kesenian…. MP hanya bisa membayangkan saja. Dia sedikit menyesal tak datang saat kirab budaya sehari sebelumnya.
Setelah berfoto di pintu gerbang—yang dimasuki dengan suka cita tadi—mereka pergi ke bangunan di sebelah. Façade-nya putih. Putihnya terlihat seperti putih kapur, sehingga MP berpikir, apa yang ada di balik pelapur putih itu? Apakah itu susunan batu bata? Mengapa banyak keramik di dindingnya?
Pelat keramik itu ternyata bergambar: kapal, bangunan mirip kincir angin, unggas. Masuk ke dalam ruang yang dahulu adalah tempat raja dan para petinggi rapat, ternyata banyak keramik yang menutupi dindingnya. Ada panel warna biru, ada panel warna cokelat.
Panel biru bergambar tentang aktivitas sehari-hari. Ada kapal, ada bangunan mirip kincir angin, dan ada unggas. Di keramik biru, ada pula berbentuk bulat, seperti piring. Di situ ada gambar rumah bergaya arsitektur China.
Namun, yang paling menarik MP adalah panel warna cokelat. Panel itu malah penuh gambar dari kisah-kisah di Alkitab. MP cukup heran, mengingat ini kesultanan Islam. Dia pun langsung terbawa ke kisah-kisah di Sekolah Minggu….
Hampir setiap panel MP kenali kisahnya.
Yang ini kisah Yesus dan murid-muridNya sedang menjala ikan. Murid-murid ini sudah seharian jala ikan di Danau Galilea, tapi nggak dapat seekor pun. Waktu Yesus bilang, lemparkan ke sisi kanan. Dapet deh mereka sampai kapal oleng. Dihitung, ada 150 ekor lebih. Yesus sendiri sudah siapkan bara api, tinggal bakar ikan.
"Ini Bileam!" kata satu suara. Seperti biasa, saat MP sedang mencoba menggali ingatan di otak kelabunya, KV hadir.
KV: Dia lari dari tugas, kalau tidak salah?
MP: Sepertinya ya. Dia naik keledai dan keledai ini selalu mundur sampai Bileam jatuh. Si keledai pun dihardik dan dipukul. Oleh Tuhan, si keledai dibukakan mulutnya dan binatang itu pun berkata-kata, “Kenapa kamu marahi aku? Di depan ada malaikat menghunus pedang!” Bileam pun langsung minta ampun ke Tuhan.
KV: Bileam pasti terguncang setengah mati mendengar keledai bicara dan keledai bawa berita menyeramkan. Luar biasa.
MP: Itulah alasan aku percaya, binatang dapat diajak bicara.
KV: Daud mengalahkan Goliath. Manusia raksasa ini tingginya 3 meter.
MP: Wah, dia bisa jadi atlet basket tenar.
KV diam saja, merasa tak perlu mengomentari celetukan MP.
MP: Ini alasan mengapa bahasa manusia berbeda-beda.
KV: Karena orang-orang membangun menara Babel yang tingginya sampai ke langit “untuk menyaingi Tuhan”.
MP: Masak Tuhan marah kalau mereka bangun menara sampai ke langit?
KV: Tuhan marah dan membuat mereka berbahasa macam-macam dan mereka saling bingung dan karena itu, diaspora terjadi.
MP: Pasti bukan karena itu Tuhan marah, buktinya sekarang banyak gedung yang mencapai langit.
KV: “Kalau kamu minum dari air milikku, kamu tidak akan haus lagi,” kata Yesus ke perempuan yang mau ambil air di sumur ini. Si Perempuan itu tentu langsung mau air itu. Tapi, yang Yesus maksud adalah damai sejahtera, air untuk jiwa yang dahaga.
MP: Kenapa Yesus suka sekali bicara dalam bahasa kiasan?
KV: Entahlah. Singkat cerita, setelah mengobrol di tepi sumur, perempuan yang punya lebih dari dua suami ini mengikuti ajaran Yesus.
KV: Ini pastilah para cendekia dari tempat yang jauh. Mereka mengikuti bintang yang mengarahkan mereka ke rumahnya Yesus. Bintang itu pasti spesial dan mereka pun spesial karena bisa membaca pergerakan benda-benda di langit. Mereka bawa emas, mur, dan kemenyan buat Yesus Cilik. Pasti itu berarti banget ya buat Maria dan Yusuf yang hidup pas-pasan.
MP: Gimana kamu tahu mereka miskin?
KV: Maria dan Yusuf waktu ibadah ke Bait Allah, mereka bawa burung tekukur sebagai korban ucapan syukur. Buat yang lebih mampu, mereka bawa mamalia kaki empat macam domba.
MP: Air bah, banjir besar. Le deluge!
KV: Nuh, istri, tiga anak, tiga mantu selamat karena mereka bikin bahtera.
MP: Tiga anak Nuh: Sem, Ham, Yafet. Namaku disebut.
KV: Ya. Kenapa tidak disebut nama istri Nuh? Juga nama-nama mantu mereka?
MP: Pertanyaan yang nggak pernah aku pikirkan sebalumnya. Aku sendiri lebih tertarik mencari tahu alasan kenapa hanya delapan manusia yang diselamatkan bersama hewan-hewan? Apakah ada dinosaurus masuk di bahtera?
MP: Panel yang ini membingungkan. Ini Yesus berdoa di Taman Getsemani ditemani dua murid? Atau ini Saulus? Dua kisah ini punya kesamaan: ada suara dari langit.
KV: Yesus berdoa, Allah Bapa menyahut dari langit.
MP: Saulus juga! Ini waktu dia jatuh dan ada suara datang dari langit. Saulus kan penyiksa orang-orang Kristen. Dia Yahudi fanatik alias radikal. Dia mengejar orang-orang Kristen dan memenjarakan mereka, memvonis mereka sesat. Akhirnya, setelah satu kecelakaan, dia malah jadi orang Kristen.
KV: Terserah. Bisa Saulus, bisa Yesus. Oh ya, Saulus ganti nama jadi Paulus setelah ikut Yesus.
Ini Yusuf menuntun keledai yang ditunggangi Maria dan Yesus Cilik. Mereka melarikan diri ke Mesir. Saat itu, Timur Tengah dikuasai Roma dan rajanya membunuhi bayi laki-laki karena dia dengar gosip, raja yang akan menggulingkan Roma telah lahir.
MP: Simson alias Samson. Dia bunuh singa dengan dua tangan. Hebat!
KV: Lebih hebat lagi, setelah itu, lebah-lebah bersarang di bangkai singa itu dan Simson mengambil madunya. Dari situlah lahir tebakan, “Dari yang kuat keluar makanan. Apakah itu?”
MP: Apakah karena perbuatan Simson itu, kini singa punah dari wilayah Timur Tengah?
MP: Ini siapa coba? Masak manusia berkelahi dengan malaikat?
KV: Ini Yakub lagi bergulat dengan malaikat. Kisahnya ada di kitab Taurat yang pertama. Yakub melarikan diri dari dendam abangnya, nah malam-malam dia ketemu orang. Tidak dicatat kitab itu, apa alasan mereka bergulat. Dia nggak sadar, pria itu malaikat.
MP: Kok dia nggak tahu itu malaikat? Nih lihat, orang ini pakai sayap.
KV: Jangan literer, ini ilustrasi.
MP: Pasti pas berantem, malaikat itu nggak pakai sayap alias nggak menampakkan diri dengan sayap.
KV: Paginya, Yakub kalah dan sebelum pria itu pergi, Yakub minta diberkati. Entah apa maksudnya dia kok malah minta didoakan sama orang asing. Sehabis itu, malaikat menghilang. Yakub ketakutan dan bilang, aku sudah melihat wajah Tuhan dan tidak mati.
MP: Tampaknya, Tuhan dulu sangat membatasi interaksi dengan manusia.
KV: Maksudnya?
MP: Sekarang banyak orang bilang, saya bertemu Tuhan secara pribadi.
MP: Menarik. Keramik ini pecah dan ditambal. Yesus memanggul salib.
KV: Diberkatilah siapa pun dia yang menembal kembali keramik yang pecah ini.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Ketika mereka berlima balik ke mobil, mereka baca Lonely Planet Indonesia, barulah mereka menyadari bahwa mereka baru saja mengunjungi dua keraton. Dua kerajaan. Lol!
"Dua? Lho, yang tadi?" begitu pekik MW.
"Keraton Kanomanan yang mana?" tanya MD.
"Yang lagi dipugar, termasuk tempat yang mereka sebut pendopo plus replika kereta kencana Singa Barong," jawab MP.
"Mana yang satu lagi?" tanya MR.
"Itu yang banyak panel keramik. Namanya Keraton Kasepuhan," jawab MP.
"Nah, di mana ketemu bapak-bapak yang menawarkan minyak urapan?" tanya MP ke MM.
"Di Keraton Kasepuhan," jawab MM.
Kembali ke Lonely Planet Indonesia milik MM: Di abad ke-15 berdirilah Cirebon menjadi kesultanan Islam pertama di Jawa Barat. Cirebon makin jaya di bawah kepemimpinan Sunan Gunungjati pada abad ke-16.
Ini pastinya burung hong alias phoenix. Unggas ini, menurut legenda, bangkit dari api, menyimbolkan kejayaan.
Sebagai pelabuhan yang padat karya, Cirebon menarik minat banyak bangsa, terutama Belanda dan China. Demikianlah, dua keraton yang saling berdampingan ini--Keraton Kanomanan dan Keraton Kasepuhan--masih menggaungkan pengaruh banyak kebudayaan dalam hal arsitektur dan interiornya sebagai bukti harmoni.
Senin, 12 November 2012
Raining On The Inside
When all goodbyes
Are said and done,
And nighttime finds you home,
Are you all right
To spend a night
Of being all alone?
And do you hide
Between the lines
Of conversations past?
A wall of words,
A heart unheard,
That hides behind a mask?
I'm raining on the inside;
My heart wells up with tears that start to pour.
I'm raining on the inside,
But then Your cries of love break through,
And I fall in love with You once more.
When friends who care
Can't be there
To ease away my pain,
And peace of mind,
It's hard to find,
Like sunlight in the rain.
God sees my heart,
The deepest part,
Inside this lonely me,
And reachin' in,
His love begins
To heal the heart in me.
I'm raining on the inside;
Oh, my heart weels up with tears that start to pour.
I'm raining on the inside,
But then Your cries of love break through,
And I fall in love with You once more.
Sometimes we're raining on the inside,
And our hearts well up with tears that start to pour.
But when we're raining on the inside,
Let His cries of love break through,
Know that He loves you, once more....
Sometimes I'm raining on the inside,
But then Your cries of love break through,
And I fall in love with You once more
Are said and done,
And nighttime finds you home,
Are you all right
To spend a night
Of being all alone?
And do you hide
Between the lines
Of conversations past?
A wall of words,
A heart unheard,
That hides behind a mask?
I'm raining on the inside;
My heart wells up with tears that start to pour.
I'm raining on the inside,
But then Your cries of love break through,
And I fall in love with You once more.
When friends who care
Can't be there
To ease away my pain,
And peace of mind,
It's hard to find,
Like sunlight in the rain.
God sees my heart,
The deepest part,
Inside this lonely me,
And reachin' in,
His love begins
To heal the heart in me.
I'm raining on the inside;
Oh, my heart weels up with tears that start to pour.
I'm raining on the inside,
But then Your cries of love break through,
And I fall in love with You once more.
Sometimes we're raining on the inside,
And our hearts well up with tears that start to pour.
But when we're raining on the inside,
Let His cries of love break through,
Know that He loves you, once more....
Sometimes I'm raining on the inside,
But then Your cries of love break through,
And I fall in love with You once more
Jumat, 19 Oktober 2012
"Time Is a Healer"
Time Is a Healer (sung by Eva Cassidy)
I found a picture of your smiling face
Bringing old memories
That I had locked away
The burden of anger
From a heart filled with pain
Was finally lifted
And I smiled at you again
Oh if time is a healer
And all hearts that break
Then all hearts that break
Are put back together again
'Cause love heals the wound it makes
I spoke such harsh words before our goodbye
Well I wanted to hurt you
For the tears you made you made me cry
All my hopes and dreams
Well they started vanishing
Those tender hurt feelings
Became a dangerous thing
Oh if time is a healer
If time is a healer
And all hearts that break
Then all hearts that break
Are put back together again
'Cause love heals the wound it makes (makes)
All of those years we spent together (spent together)
Well they're part of my life forever
I hold the joy with the pain
And the truth is
I miss you my friend
Well time is a healer
And all hearts that break
All hearts all hearts that break
Are put back together again
'Cause love heals the wound it makes
I found a picture of your smiling face
Bringing old memories
That I had locked away
The burden of anger
From a heart filled with pain
Was finally lifted
And I smiled at you again
Oh if time is a healer
And all hearts that break
Then all hearts that break
Are put back together again
'Cause love heals the wound it makes
I spoke such harsh words before our goodbye
Well I wanted to hurt you
For the tears you made you made me cry
All my hopes and dreams
Well they started vanishing
Those tender hurt feelings
Became a dangerous thing
Oh if time is a healer
If time is a healer
And all hearts that break
Then all hearts that break
Are put back together again
'Cause love heals the wound it makes (makes)
All of those years we spent together (spent together)
Well they're part of my life forever
I hold the joy with the pain
And the truth is
I miss you my friend
Well time is a healer
And all hearts that break
All hearts all hearts that break
Are put back together again
'Cause love heals the wound it makes
When Was It?
when was the last time I traveled with Mi?
Now I am trying to recall every detail of our trip to
Pantai Pasir Putih (me, Mi), early 80's?
Magelang years ago, often
Sumatra 1992
Surabaya to Oom Dan's 1998 in which she talked to him to support me!
Do I remember what she was wearing?
What did she packed to the bag?
What lunch did she bring me?
Which bottle of water did she bring along?
What stories did she tell?
Did she point where she lived long ago at Gempol?
Did she tell what movies her foster parents watched at kinos?
I have so many questions
So when I went to Singkawang with Pi, Fi, K Es, I knew what I miss and lose. All the way there and back, Pi would recall stories: the amounts of money she bought, where she stood, what she did if the motorbike would cross the small bridge.
What made her willing to endure the trips? Was it her love for others' souls that brought her there? I may never know the answer(s). But I know how people there miss her badly, but then so do I!
Rabu, 10 Oktober 2012
Travel (not) Light
I
always travel light to Pontianak, to where my parents’ house is.
But I never called it home, considering I didn’t grow up in the
equatorial city. But then where is home? I always carry a small bag
along with huge hope. I can always wear Pi’s clothes or Mom’s
oversized t-shirts.
But
last September, I came back there carrying a small bag. I was heavy
hearted.
It
was the fifth time in the year that I came back there. This time to
say “until we meet again” to Mi. That Sunday morning, she went to
a place she called home. Indeed, she ever said, I want to have a
house on earth and in heavens. She came home to her heavenly home.
How
could she? I said. On Wednesday, I still talked to her. I woke up at
04.40 then made coffee and took a bath. I talked to her for a while
and she prayed for me the way she always did. After that, she kissed
my left and right cheek. “Now, kiss me, Son,” she inquired. I was
amazed, didn’t we just kiss? So I kissed her cheeks and said bye.
Five
days earlier, I witnessed her quick recovery. I was amazed (and am
still). She told us plans. She said she still want to “testify the
love of Jesus to many more people”. How amazing. She fought pain
back with strong determination. She chose life. She ate more—much
more than I ever witnessed and heard. Until today I still wonder, is
it miracle?
But
I’d never thought she ‘came home’ so soon. Oh, I’ve never
missed her like this! Didn’t she want to meet her old
acquaintances? Didn’t she eat more and was recovered? Didn’t she
want to go on vacation with her children? Weren’t Bali, Miri,
Singapore, and Jakarta on her list? Didn’t she herself said, she
wanted to share Jesus’ love to others?
I
was told, on the second morning on my fourth visit, she prayed before
she slept. She said, “Lord, If I don’t wake up tomorrow, please
open up the gates of heaven for me.” Apparently, her prayer was
answered a week later. Perhaps, her children needed to be shown that
their mother was recovering. That she ‘came home’ in good health
and in joy. I guess, God loves Mi—much more than we love her. God
only takes the best.
Rabu, 27 Juni 2012
Dance Dance Dance
These ladies in Ujung Kulon know how to celebrate any events: make some noise and dance carefree. The music is produced by banging rhythmically the rice hull remover (lesung). I still wonder, however, why only few do the dance. Moi, I'm amazed
Senin, 18 Juni 2012
Kamis, 31 Mei 2012
Big Time DJ-ing
Think
I should give DJ-ing a try. Last weekend with Let’s Freedive (LFD)
fellows, I went camping at Pulau Perak at Kepulauan Seribu. At the first
night, I discovered my talent of DJ-ing thanks to portable Creative
speakers Rian brought. So here’s the list:
- Everybody Loves Me – One Republic (and I know they do! Ha!)
- Secrets – One Republic (as a homage to LFD’s ‘underwater concert’ in Youtube)
- Good Life – One Republic (Life’s good at the beach of P Perak, anyway)
- Crazy – Alanis Morrissette (“We never ever survive unless we got a little bit crazy”)
- Mysterious Ways – U2 (Indeed he moves in mysterious ways!)
- My Friends – Red Hot Chili Peppers (“She got 7 years for being sad”)
- Just Like Heaven – The Watson Twins (Never underestimate the power of cover version)
- Still Haven’t Found What I’m Looking For – U2 (and who…)
- Stuck in A Moment – U2 (“This time will pass”)
- Windows in the Skies – U2 (“Oh oh oh oh...”)
- Breath Your Name – Sixpence None The Richer (“I can only breath your name”)
- Stranger in a Strange Land - Leon Russell (and moi as a stranger)
- Perfect Day – Lou Reed (“I’m glad I spend it with you”. I am)
- Mirando – Ratatat (Pra-da!)
Selasa, 15 Mei 2012
How True!
It's another way to say, being nice won't hurt. Aint it? (photos taken from blackeiffel.blogspot.com)
Senin, 30 April 2012
I Am Free (Diving)!
Ever since I saw Hola, Rian,
Ricka, Phie, Sena, Romulo (?) “ducking”, I thought, I wanted to
do that. Even more, how Chok retrieved my sunken snorkel in the pool
was a surprising sight. I wanted to duck dive. It turned out to be
not easy as it might look. Found it difficult, especially the
equalizing part.
As often, the excitement was soon
forgotten. But when buddies started free diving, I lazily said, I’ll
give it a try.
Two months or six sessions in pool
later, here I was: free diving at sea! I joined the ever famous Jason
Hakim aka JJ, Azam, Andrian, Pak Bayu, and Agus to free dive at the
waters of Pulau Air, Pulau Bandeng, and the pier of Pulau Pramuka.
There at Pulau Air, I,
unfortunately, had to bid farewell to my goggle. I accidentally
dropped it into the black water. Sad. It had accompanied me for two
years of diving, snorkeling, and free diving. Well well now I am not
that sad. I am looking forward to wearing new goggle. I thanked Pak
Bayu for bringing extra goggle, I could free dived last weekend!
It is true that one may never
freedive alone. I was exhausted at the water of P. Air. Buddies were
ever helpful and supportive. they waved to call the boatman to pick
us up.
Photo by the famous Agus Hong
I had a big time free diving
eventhough equalization was difficult to do. It was fun to watch
buddies descending to the black and whence ascending, like dolphins.
Ze Test, Ze Spearfishing, Z’Uiske!
K:
This crimson mug is full of spirit
S:
Are you drinking again?
K:
Uhm, uhm…
S:
So what’s the story?
K:
Like about 15 years ago
S:
Wow, long ago, eh?
K:
Don’t cut me! …. Like 15 yrs ago I went to Bukit and by chance, I
stayed at Pondok Bento.
S:
At whose?
K:
A student whose name I can’t recall
S:
How come?
K:
I was invited by a Kak Yer or Mas Totok. He often had fellowship with
Christian students at Unud. I met one student from Papua and he
agreed to let me stay at his room.
S:
you should’ve said “by the Grace of God” instead of “by
chance”!
K:
Indeed, my friend. So a day before the D-Day, the Nasution (?) girl
studying at FH Unud offered a ride that I couldn’t refuse. From
there I walked to Bento and find the room. It was smallish but
furnished with bed, small desk and I don’t remember if it got any
bathroom. It should have. I met him and we chatted a bit and perhaps
he went to campus. It was like 14.00 in the afternoon.
S:
Yes?
K:
I was left alone. So in the dim-lit room, I studied a bit of math,
language, etc.
S:
For the test?
K:
Ze test! In the evening still he din returned. The room was hot so, I
lurked outside. I saw, across the room there stood a boy with long,
Bob Marleylike, bridled hair.
S:
Who?
K:
I don’t remember his face or name. Or how we talked. I only
remember he inquired many things about me. And me being alone and
lonely, told him anything he wished to know.
S:
That’s so you
K:
Shut up. I inquired a lot about him too! We chatted a lot. About
anything until he whispered, “Don’t talk like that (about that).
He has ears!”
S:
Hmmm
K:
I wish I could remember the details but I do remember that he went to
his room to fetch two glasses of curious drink.
S:
what was that?
K:
Whiskey cola
S:
Cool!!
K:
My first time ever.
S:
How was it?
K:
Sweet and light. More cola than whiskey perhaps. But it was fun.
S:
You yessed his offer? Cheap!
K:
That was a nice gesture
S:
A drink a night before ze horrible tests! I cant believe!
K:
Yeah. Uhm, what were I thinking? Well anyway, we talked a bit more.
He asked how I came to know my host. I forgot to ask whether this
student of law faculty (perhaps he was) knew my host. and then we
parted and he wished me success.
S:
Very neighborly! But what about your host?
K:
I fell asleep on the bed. At night, I heard him coming. I woke up to
find I have weeted the mattress. The heat of the room made me sweat a
river. He said, “It’s ok. It’s very hot here. I’ve told you.
I’ll sleep on the floor. Never mind.”
S:
Wow
K:
So we talked a bit. Where have you been that you should come home
late? He said, he met friends from Irian (known today as Papua) and
we hunted fish at Benoa.
S:
Hunted fish?
K:
He said, they swam and speared fish and grilled them.
S:
Wow!
K:
And I was like, oh my God, you’re so primitive.
S:
How rude!
K:
It was unthinkable but then he was my host and that was so nice of
him to take me in.
S:
Yes he was.
K:
The morning after, I asked him to join me for breakfast. I felt I was
obliged to repay his kindness.
S:
You should.
K:
Back then a plate of rice with stir friend vegetable and a piece of
friend ikan gabus was Rp5.000. can you imagine?
S:
Expensive, eh?
K:
Yes, but I was and am glad my host joined me.
S:
So how was ze test?
K:
it went well.
S:
And so, the second night?
K:
I studied again. My host gone to his friends and the guy who gave me
whiskey cola was not there. Well, the day after, I finished the tests
and went home. I can’t recall how I returned the key or how we
parted.
S:
Sad!
K:
Then weeks later I got received at the uni. I shopped some cookies
for my host and I brought it to the student center where they had
fellowship together. He wasn’t there. I asked a long haired girl
there to give it to him when he appeared. Oh, oh, let me say this:
perhaps I met my host for the first time when there was two
Australians (husband and wife) who stayed at Canggu. Uhm, not sure….
S:
Don’t be sad. I am sure his kindness had been rewarded.
K:
I hope so…
Senin, 23 April 2012
Sabtu, 11 Februari 2012
“Almost an Island” & Nobody’s an Island
This is not an island. Pseudo-island!, I said to Mamet, Hamok, n Ricka. As fas as eyes can see, Pulau Santolo is an unlikely island. it is like a large piece of land cut off from the mainland. It is about 5 meters away from the mainland. You can cross the river by swimming or 30 seconds boat trip! But who wouldve known that the island later revealed itself in its own way.
So after a long journey that produced a pain in the ass (for sitting for 8 hrs), we arrived at Pulau Santolo. Relieved, we hung the hammocks. The sea breeze lulled us to a deep daydreaming… I gazed to the roaring south sea, and thought, phew, a tsunami hit this area not long ago.
I put the terrifying thought to sleep and later off I went to the nearby hut-cum-resto and ordered coffee. I continued reading Nigel Barley’s shallow yet entertaining travel book, titled In the Footsteps of Stamford Raffles. I like it. I have read it through years ago and still find some chapters entertaining. Had Raffles been here to Garut anyway? Apparently no.
That afternoon after rain, we found a bale whose owners are very friendly. They din overprice the food. So we ordered 1 kg grilled ikan baronang, ½ kg grilled squid, ½ kg deep sea dwelling crabs aka rajungan, and ½ kg rice. A feast it was! I havent eaten any rajungan for decades! All tasted well and sooo delicious. A feast by the sea indeed.
At 22.00, nightmare began. The wind blew so strong it scattered anything. We woke up frightened. The wind literally screamed! We rushed ourselves to the nearby hut. The minute the hut owners shut their hut, I really began to panic. I felt I was left, exposed to the harsh wind. While we moved things, I saw friends looked so calm and I wondered how they did so. Have they been in this situation before?
Oh Lord, what if a tsunami happens?
The hut to which we moved ("salmon hut") was covered only on one side. The wind slapped the plastic spread like crazy. I tried hard to fix it. Hamok came to rescue and we were half wet. It rained, too!
I couldn’t sleep. I felt so tiny, dwarfed by the big storm…. I began to call on God’s names....I felt so exhausted that I fell asleep...
We woke up at 05.00. the sea was particularly calm. what a relief.
I thanked the island. How did i thank it? I said to it, how beautiful your rocks are!
The island is a huge piece of solid rock. It has a natural "extension" of rock-beach about the size of 2 football fields. The wave will crash on to the rocky surface. That explained why we, despite the strong wind, stayed safe all the night.
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