Raining On The Inside

When all goodbyes
Are said and done,
And nighttime finds you home,
Are you all right
To spend a night
Of being all alone?

And do you hide
Between the lines
Of conversations past?
A wall of words,
A heart unheard,
That hides behind a mask?

I'm raining on the inside;
My heart wells up with tears that start to pour.
I'm raining on the inside,
But then Your cries of love break through,
And I fall in love with You once more.

When friends who care
Can't be there
To ease away my pain,
And peace of mind,
It's hard to find,
Like sunlight in the rain.

God sees my heart,
The deepest part,
Inside this lonely me,
And reachin' in,
His love begins
To heal the heart in me.

I'm raining on the inside;
Oh, my heart weels up with tears that start to pour.
I'm raining on the inside,
But then Your cries of love break through,
And I fall in love with You once more.

Sometimes we're raining on the inside,
And our hearts well up with tears that start to pour.
But when we're raining on the inside,
Let His cries of love break through,
Know that He loves you, once more....

Sometimes I'm raining on the inside,
But then Your cries of love break through,
And I fall in love with You once more

"Time Is a Healer"

Time Is a Healer (sung by Eva Cassidy)

I found a picture of your smiling face
Bringing old memories
That I had locked away
The burden of anger
From a heart filled with pain
Was finally lifted
And I smiled at you again

Oh if time is a healer
And all hearts that break
Then all hearts that break
Are put back together again
'Cause love heals the wound it makes

I spoke such harsh words before our goodbye
Well I wanted to hurt you
For the tears you made you made me cry
All my hopes and dreams
Well they started vanishing
Those tender hurt feelings
Became a dangerous thing

Oh if time is a healer
If time is a healer
And all hearts that break
Then all hearts that break
Are put back together again
'Cause love heals the wound it makes (makes)

All of those years we spent together (spent together)
Well they're part of my life forever
I hold the joy with the pain
And the truth is
I miss you my friend

Well time is a healer
And all hearts that break
All hearts all hearts that break
Are put back together again
'Cause love heals the wound it makes

Big Time DJ-ing

Think I should give DJ-ing a try. Last weekend with Let’s Freedive (LFD) fellows, I went camping at Pulau Perak at Kepulauan Seribu. At the first night, I discovered my talent of DJ-ing thanks to portable Creative speakers Rian brought. So here’s the list:

1. Everybody Loves Me – One Republic (and I know they do! Ha!)
2. Secrets – One Republic (as a homage to LFD’s ‘underwater concert’ in Youtube)
3. Good Life – One Republic (Life’s good at the beach of P Perak, anyway)
4. Crazy – Alanis Morrissette (“We never ever survive unless we got a little bit crazy”)
5. Mysterious Ways – U2 (Indeed he moves in mysterious ways!)
6. My Friends – Red Hot Chili Peppers (“She got 7 years for being sad”)
7. Just Like Heaven – The Watson Twins (Never underestimate the power of cover version)
8. Still Haven’t Found What I’m Looking For – U2 (and who…)
9. Stuck in A Moment – U2 (“This time will pass”)
10. Windows in the Skies – U2 (“Oh oh oh oh...”)
11. Breath Your Name – Sixpence None The Richer (“I can only breath your name”)
12. Stranger in a Strange Land - Leon Russell (and moi as a stranger)
13. Perfect Day – Lou Reed (“I’m glad I spend it with you”. I am)
14. Mirando – Ratatat (Pra-da!)

Le Playlist 3

Lately I've been accompanied by:

1. Laudate Dominum
I love Hayley Westenra's n Cecilia Bartoli's versions.

2. Ritter Fruhling
the spring song never fails to cheer me up in autumn wind.

3. Wallet
"I found a wallet, I found a wallet...and like a holy relic, or a mystery novel
I thumbed them in the dim light..." Love it, Miss Regina Spektor!

4. Riverside
If I have a chance to meet Miss Agnes Obel, I'll buy her a drink. Love this song.

5. Sea Lion Woman
by Feist. Fresh--yet forgettable :)

6. Up to the Mountain
Susan Boyle's version.

7. Chasing Rainbow
Australian Girls Choir

La Musique

Lately I been accompanied by this playlist:

10. Dolphins (Fred Neil)

Funny that I got this song two weeks before I went to P. Bidadari early this month. There, my point finger was almost crushed by a hungry dolphin. the dolphins live in a very narrow tank. I don't blame them. They must have been stressed or hungry. Dolphins should be free!

9. Jerusalem (that choir)

When everyone seemed to pay attention only to the bride and the groom (that Royal Wedding), I paid attention to the trees inside the church and the music. this old piece is sweet: "Bring me my bow of burning gold, bring me my arrows of desire...bring me my chariot of fire!" Chariot of fire. imagine. no visa no tickets. faster than the speed of light.

8. Don’t Leave Home (Dido)

Every time I go on a trip, she sings “Oh don’t leave home…don’t leave home…”

7. Driftwood (Aselin Debison)

Love her version better than Travis’. “Driftwoods hollow and of no use…” au contraire! When I went holidaying at Pulau Macan, I found driftwoods ever useful. Lovely song anyway.

6. God Bless the Child (Shania Twain)

Lately I been falling in love with the sound of guitar plucking. This song has banjo plucking.

5. Mirando (Ratatat)

When I need something upbeat, this song wakes all nerves. It takes away tiredness and set my feet to dancing. 

4. Morning Has broken (Nikita Boldyrev)

Among Earth’s phenomena, morning is the best. To witness a big red ball rising from an the “edge” of the sea, to listen to black sea birds chirping, and listen to the wind through the conifers are blissful. This Boldyrev’s version is cool: guitar plucking and violin weeping.

3. overpowered (Roisin Murphy)

The song is very biological: “your data, my data…the chromosome match”

2. Brothers (Enniol Morricone)

Taken from The Mission soundtrack. It’s another brilliant piece of guitar plucking.

1. My Friends (Red Hot Chili Pepper)

A reminder to be happy a bit more often: “prison phone…give her seven years for being sad”

Castle in the Sky ("Negeri di Awan")

Last night, it was German's triumph over Argentina. but Anast, Erika, and I din care much. we chose to sing the night away in a panic room. amid the playlist, i inserted "secretly" Negeri di Awan (Land in the Clouds, its literal translation), a song by Katon Bagaskara. it was my only favorite Indonesian song because I loooved--and still do--the video. it was done by Garin Nugroho. it is very indonesian both in scenery and feel.

watching this video again, i was moved. i jumped and thought, i know this place! Ambarawa, no? i remember last December I went there with Ent, Fit, Ocha, Cupay, and Yudi, riding the train to the rice fields and Lake Rawa Pening nearby.

and while i was being mellowed out by the video and the music--and the lyric, Erika ruined it all. she exploded at the sight of Katon's mullet. Lol. Annast and i couldnt not laugh along.

"hey, you must forgive him. it was the coolest look back then," i barked :))

and now i am checking it once more.

Songlist for Trip (Pt. 2)

the last time i went on trip, i played Nine Million Bicycles and halfway Up the Hindu Kush on and on and on until the battery worn out and Maria had no chance to play the player :)

 1. Nine Million Bicycles, Katie Melua
2. Crazy, Alanis Morissette
3. Photograph, Diane Birch
4. Gun Shy, 10,000 Maniacs
5. Precious Declaration, Collective Soul
6. Halfway Up the Hindu Kush, Katie Melua
7. Gone Fishing, Louis Armstrong & Bing Cosby
8. I Say Grace, Hayley Westenra
9. I Guess The Lord Must Be in New York City, Harry Nilsson
10. Window in the Skies, U2

the song

 out of nowhere i remember this sweet song. even sweeter when i heard Mbak Aning long ago sang it. lyrical. guess it was penned by Guruh Soekarnoputra. eighties spirit yes? :) 

and i say to myself, do i love this country?

Pada mulanya hanya mitos belaka
kemudiannya menjadi nyata
Indonesia mengejawantah di dunia
Adi Nugraha Sang Maha Pencipta

Nun dari Sabang hingga ke Merauke
terhampar luas nusa nan permai
Indonesia negeri yang sangat kucinta
dengarlah bisikan patriot bangsa

Indonesia jiwaku
bersemayam di hayatku
Indonesia semangatku
kau kubela s'panjang hidupku

The Songlist for Trips

1. Smashing Young Man, Collective Soul

2. Kinderly, Mediaeval Baebes

3. A Design of Life, Manic Street Preachers

4. Son of a Preacher Man, Dusty Springfield

5. Fireflies, Owl City

6. Aha!, Imogen Heap

7. Flowers, Emilie Simon

8. Sweet the Sting, Tori Amos

9. Lost in Space, Lighthouse Family

10. Bette Davis Eyes, Kim Carnes

11. On My Way Home, Enya

12. The Big Rock, Maire Brennan

13. Everyday I Wrote the Book, Ron Sexsmith & Elvis Costello

14. Nothing Else Matters, Metallica

15. Grace, Jars of Clay

16. Stuck in the Moment, U2

17. Breath Your Name, Sixpence None the Richer

18. Bratislava, Beirut

19. Fix the World Up for You, James Morrison

20. What a Wonderful World, Louis Armstrong

as for moi

as for meeee i will behoooold thy face in righteousness
i will be saaaatisfied when i 'm awake in thy likeness!

(love the very song)

Children, Go where I Send Thee! (Krakatau)

the song just kept playing in my head before I went on this trip to Krakatau-Kiluan on August 14-17, 2009. must thank Vit for the album (song sung by Natalie Merchant) i listened to in my early years of college. Now I know the meaning of the song--in my own understanding.

"i have been given one moment from heavens"

I love Enya for singing this nice song. It is inspiring.

On my way home I remember only good things


I can't say i dont remember the awful and unnerving things but the last trip turned to be exciting, i should say. i get different perspective on how i see. (see, i paid! hahahaha)
now i can overlook the piques.

even the thoughts of giving medicinal instructions (?) still produces a hearty giggle. We were the front guards (or the point of the spears, as people here love to use the term), said cika. We were....uhm, perhaps. I aint sure. Now I think Martha was right. she said all people like that need is love.

Did i gave them? i still aint sure. but sure, i learn from this. my. see, every one needs to be loved and when it is you the one who should give love, give them. "Cepat sembuh ya Pak, Bu, Dek..." Meanwhile in the classroom, I saw Anast was sharing her knowledge, her enthusiasm with those children. It was cool to see how she lit them up.

yesterday i broke my promise and called Cika. We talked about this and ended up laughing out loud. the last trip was equally awful and fun. hey, i dont think it's equal.

but speaking about laughter, there was much laughter. more than i've ever had before during my trips. hahahahaha i think Anast will agree with us.